Why Do You Hate Me?
by Patient Harmony
Summary: Ruri'iro Kujaku reflects on the relationship between a Zanpakuto and its master.


**Why Do You Hate Me?**

He couldn't understand it. He had tried everything, but he could not get what he sought the most. His master's love.

Well, perhaps 'love' was too strong a word. What he sought was acceptance, adoration, and fondness. He wasn't necessarily the only one to feel like that, but still…

He had spoken to many other spirits whenever their masters were in close proximity to each other. Most of them were the brutes from the eleventh, but there were a few other instances.

Hozukimaru, the Zanpakuto of his master's closest friend (for which reason he still could not fathom), was just a lazy oaf, but he enjoyed a fight, and his master often used the shikai, but rarely the bankai, which occasionally drove the ogre insane. However, upon hearing his dilemma, the ogre understood, and also realised that his master's friend had a point. It would be a true test of friendship. One that Ikkaku was, perhaps, not ready for.

He couldn't help but feel a little smug whenever he was near Kazeshini, whose master experienced his power. The demon was a little resentful for a while. But the two had a sort of… empathic relationship. The demon was almost never used as well, but for different reasons. Shuuhei Hisagi feared the power of his sword, while _his_ master hated his power. Loathed, and despised. Even Kazeshini said that he felt sorry for him, and not in his usual spiteful way. No, the demon, the 'wind death', was sympathetic.

Haineko was lazy. And her master equally so. But she offered to listen, to hear with sympathetic ears. The cat could be sweet when she wanted to be. Rangiku was lucky to have her. Her power was often used, so she could not complain.

He felt rather sorry for Zangetsu. His master may have a lot of strength, but he lacked the experience necessary. And it was his wish for Ichigo to get stronger. But, to make matters worse, Zangetsu was not alone in the inner world of his master. There was another, darker being, who got along with none of the other Zanpakuto, except, perhaps, for him. In a way, he sought the master's destruction. And poor Zangetsu had to be the middle ground. The peacemaker. He wondered what would happen if his master awakened his inner Hollow as well? Would it mean their destruction, or their salvation?

He had met Benehime, very reluctantly, on one occasion. When Urahara said that she wasn't nice, he wasn't kidding. She was quite brutal, when it comes down to it. But she was bothered by the fact that her master still lived in exile, and she had no means to release her aggression. But she _did_ offer her support.

He admitted that he was a little jealous of Sode no Shirayuki. She was known as the most beautiful sword in all of the Seiretei. A title that he knew he could have, if only his master was more like Rukia. But, there were times when her master neglected to use her. If she was used the night Rukia met Ichigo, then Rukia might not have lost her power, and the whole Aizen incident could have been avoided. Or, more accurately, the whole trying-to-execute-Rukia event. But, then again, would their friend Zangetsu even be around then?

Zabimaru, at the very least, could not complain about loneliness. There were two minds in one, and they were a part of each other. Furthermore, Renji had the goal of getting stronger, of surpassing his old friend's adoptive brother, so they could not complain. They were used often enough, and were lucky enough to achieve bankai, which was also often used. So if they decided to complain, he would get angry, but he usually kept quiet. When he _did _snap, however, they were silent for a while, and admitted that, given his situation, they had no right to complain, and had never again complained when he was nearby.

There were others as well. Kyoka Suigetsu was not happy with what Aizen was doing, but could not speak out against it. He did, however, give a small comfort. If Aizen knew what he could do, then there was a guarantee that his master would become a part of the traitor's plans, whether it be a forced alliance or death. That was probably the only time he was happy that his master despised using their full potential.

Among Zanpakuto, there is a sort of unwritten code. That they are to keep quiet about what other Zanpakuto told them. If there are any issues, then it was between the Zanpakuto and their master. It was not the others' place to reveal anything to their own masters.

Ruri'iro Kujaku sighed. He and Yumichika used to be close. They were quite fond of each other. That was until Yumichika found out what they could do. He was so worried about what Ikkaku and Kenpachi would think, that he started to neglect his Zanpakuto, acting as though he had never acquired shikai. And then, the day came when those hated words were spoken.

_Bloom, Fujikujaku._

He was outraged, disgusted. And in his anger, he had released partially, completely uncontrolled. And that was all his master needed. A shikai he would use.

After that, whenever those words would be spoken, he would get angry and partially release, and his master would think he was sulking.

After a while, sword and master developed a strained relationship. The two would act indifferent to each other. Ruri'iro Kujaku would act as though he was a narcissist, just like his master, but the truth was, he felt no love for himself. His mask of vanity was just that: a mask. He could not let his master see the sorrow he felt, and he hid it well. Their relationship was no longer close enough for the master to feel the sword's feelings, but the sword could still feel his master's. He knew when his master was angry, afraid, and sad. He could see all the battles his master took part in. And every time, he was hoping that he could truly spread his wings.

But as the years went by, he knew that it was a lost hope. That the odds of something like that happening was growing slimmer. Eventually, he started going deeper into the inner world of his master, a place he only went to when Yumichika was asleep, just in case he was needed. Or, more accurately, wanted.

Ichigo's inner Hollow described the relationship between a Zanpakuto and their master quite accurately. The Soul Reaper was the King of their worlds, and the Zanpakuto was the loyal horse, riding with their masters into battle. Most of the time. There were quite a few Kings that decided to walk, and the horses would be left feeling unwanted. Asides from Zangetsu, Ruri'iro Kujaku was the only one that the Hollow would respect. He mentioned something interesting on one occasion. If Yumichika managed to become a Vizard, then his power would be used, since the Hollow and Zanpakuto tended to be close, and he would also have a companion.

So he came here, to the deepest, darkest corner of Yumichika's world, and wondered if that was where Yumichika's Hollow half would be born. It was dark and dreary, with dead trees everywhere. But on the largest two flowers were blooming. One is Shuuhei Hisagi, the other is Charlotte Cuulhorne. He was glad that Yumichika thanked the Arrancar for the chance to use their true shikai. For if Yumichika didn't, then he would surely have found a way to do so himself. It was just annoying that the Zanpakuto of Soul Reapers and Arrancars couldn't communicate with each other.

As he sat there, the tears kept falling. This was the only place he knew he could truly be himself, and the only time. He would never let Yumichika see this weakness. As he sat there, his sorrow flowing freely, only one thought crossed his mind.

Why do you hate me?

**My first Bleach oneshot. If you liked it, please leave a review. This oneshot originally would have had Yumichika in it, but I liked it this way. But if you want me to expand on it, I won't say no. leave a review and tell me if you want me to expand, or leave as it is.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.**


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